Dear FanFiction Writers
by DreamFluent
Summary: Just something I've seen in other fandoms... and I have writers' block. Characters respond to any and all pairings, and letters, if you choose to review with them.
1. Finn x Holley

**A/N: This is just for when I have writers' block… please excuse me not updating for a bit, as I have a lot going on involving dive team and lifeguard training. I'm going to say that I'm probably going to slam every single non-canon pairing out there, including my own personal ships, so I am not trying to make anyone mad. This is just for fun and trying to keep it in canon based on what happened in the movie. Enjoy :)**

Finn x Holley

To Whom It May Concern:

I ask that you stop writing stories that involve anything more than a professional relationship between myself and Miss Shiftwell. Relationships are against protocol… as far as you know.

Sincerely,

Finn McMissile

_Londyn: You forgot about me!_

_Finn: You weren't in the movie… it's better that you remain a secret to the general public._

_Londyn: *Rolls eyes*_

* * *

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Please stop. As of the moment, I promised Mater a date… I guess that considers me taken. I didn't even _want_ to be a field agent in the first place; why would I ever want to be with... I apologize for lack of words, but he can be a dork sometimes... and need I mention the age difference?

-Holley Shiftwell

**A/N: I may or may not update this on a regular basis... depends on writers' block situation.**


	2. Miles x Holley

**A/N: I was on DeviantArt looking for good pairings... and I stumbled across this one. It seems to be really popular over there... I don't visit that often, so I wouldn't know the extent.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

You have to be joking… when in my right mind would I ever…? Please stop, and note that I do have a taser, and I am not afraid to use it. Wait... someone wrote about... what's Iggy? *shuts down computer* Nope, I'm not discussing it anymore.

-Holley

* * *

FanFiction Writers,

No comment.

Good day,

Sir Axlerod


	3. Holley gets another letter!

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Why are you pairing me with cars I've never even met? Just because I am the only practically single lead female in this movie you speak of DOES NOT mean that I want to actually be with someone other than what I have decided. Please stop, and remember what I said before about the taser.

-Holley Shiftwell


	4. Everyone!

Dear FanFiction Writers,

We are not transformers.

Sincerely,

Everyone (As written by Lightning)

_Finn: It depends what they classify as a transformer._

_Lightning: You don't turn into a giant fighting robot, do you?_

_Finn: …_

_Lightning: My point exactly._

_Finn: I never responded!_

_Lightning: *Backs slowly away from Finn*_


	5. Government Notice

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Just a notice, humans in our world can't and will never survive. They would probably die from exhaust fumes, which us cars are obviously immune to. Please close any portals you might have open still out of kindness to your species.

Sincerely,

The world government of the Cars world


	6. Finn x Lightning

Dear FanFiction Writers,

No, I do not like the transformer over there. I am perfectly happy with Sally, and that's not changing anytime soon.

-Lightning McQueen

* * *

To Whom It May Concern:

I repeat, relationships are against protocol in CHROME. Please do not discredit my reputation by even thinking about this pairing.

Sincerely,

Finn McMissile

_Lightning: *Looks at Finn's letter* They're writing us as a __couple__. There's no need to be formal._

_Finn: That just shows them that I'm not stooping to their level._

_Londyn: You keep forgetting me!_

_Finn: Sorry, love, but you don't exist in their... canon, I think they call it._

_Londyn: *Rolls eyes and drives away, plotting for later*_


	7. Miles x Zundapp

**A/N: One more for now… this one was one I found on DeviantArt as well.**

FanFiction Writers,

No.

-Sir Axlerod

* * *

Writers of Fanfiction,

Nein.

-Professor Zundapp

* * *

_Miles: Why are either of us even here?_

_Finn: You're the villains, that's why. There's more writing on the internet than we can keep up with, and frankly…_

_Holley: He just wanted to see how you both would react to that one… all of us did._

_Finn: Miss Shiftwell, please be quiet. And you may want to start writing more than one word responses._

_Miles: I haven't had a need to._

_Zundapp: Agreed._

_Finn: If you don't, you both get to go back to prison._

_Miles: Fine._

_Zundapp: *Mutters something in German*_

_Finn: What was that?_

_Zundapp: Absolutely nothing._


	8. WGP Racers

**A/N: I'm working on Truth or Dare, so look out for that to be updated sometime in the next couple days or so; this also means updates will be slower for this one.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

We do not like each other. We compete against each other, keep it that way; not in a romantic sense either!

Sincerely,

All of the WGP racers


	9. Finn x Miles

**A/N: Yes, this is a pairing… not sure if it's on this site or not, but it is. I'm not even sure how. Like I said, I'm working on Truth or Dare, so this might be the only one today.**

To Whom It May Concern:

Why in the world would you continue to put me with other cars? I already said that it was against the guidelines for CHROME, and the world's most wanted criminal… with me? Please stop immediately.

-Finn McMissile

* * *

**FanFiction Writers,**

Since I have to write more than word, I'm going to say that whoever is writing these FICTIONAL works is completely wrong about… whatever pairing this is, if it could be considered a pairing. My reaction: stop. Please stop.

-Sir Axlerod

_Miles: This never happened._

_Finn: Precisely._


	10. Finn x Mater

**Okay, I have 2 requests that I want to do today, so I'm guessing you guys'll get 2 chapters today… Truth or Dare is coming along very slowly at the moment.**

To Whom It May Concern:

It was my mistake about Mater being an agent, and I apologize for risking the safety of the world in that. However, because I made this mistake DOES NOT mean that I have feelings for him, or anyone, for that matter. I repeat as in all of my other letters, please stop with this pairing and any others you might come up with.

-Finn McMissile

Mater was banned from this project at CHROME because it is feared that he may tamper with the letters. Thank you.


	11. Holley x Acer

Dear FanFiction Writers,

What did I say about not pairing me with cars I barely even know? I can't even fathom what you were thinking about when you made that pairing… please excuse my bluntness.

-Holley

Why am I even here?

That pairing doesn't work… from Holley's perspective, anyways…

-Acer

_Holley: That's enough for now. *Electrocutes Acer*_

_Finn: *Chuckles* I was waiting for you to do that. _


	12. LightningxFrancesco

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm competing AGAINST Francesco in the WGP; he's a jerk, to be nice. Actually, he reminds me of me when I started racing, except about 50 times worse. Bad memories…

-Lightning McQueen

To Francesco's many fans,

Francesco would never fall in love with McQueen. He is much too slow for Francesco.

-Francesco Bernoulli

* * *

_Finn: There are so many letters here… Wait, they're writing about the Wings Around the Globe winner?_

_Lightning: Dusty Crophopper? You know, I have connections… I could get a hold of him if you need me to._

_Finn: That would be excellent. Thank you._

**A/N: You read that right, I will feature some of the Planes characters soon!**


	13. FinnxOC

To Whom It May Concern:

I suppose there's no reasoning with you about pairing me with other characters… I'll allow some pairings, but they must be well-written and not from the movie. I've seen some with a car named Londyn who seems alright, and I could say the same about another named Camilla. Oh, and no "Mary Sues," whatever those may be. They seem dreadful.

-Finn McMissile


	14. Londyn!

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Because Finn won't acknowledge that I exist, I'll make sure you all know some stories about him. I wish I could send the videos through the letter, but I can't. First off, I know for a fact that he's afraid of pigeons. He accidentally drove into a flock of them once… I can't think of any other embarrassing moments about him for now, but be assured I do have the videos, and I will find more when I get around to it.

Love,

Londyn

_Londyn: *Sneaks letter into the compilation*_

_Finn (10 minutes later): What is this? Londyn?_

_Londyn: Just my way of getting revenge… _


	15. Finn's Apology and Planes!

**A/N: I've got a dive meet tonight, so let's see how many of these I can write in the time I have!**

To Whom It May Concern:

I apologize for Londyn's letter previous to this. To preserve the purpose of these letters, I'm going to make sure she does not do it again.

Thank you,

Finn McMissile

...

_Londyn: Oh, just wait. You can't promise that…_

_Finn: You wouldn't tamper with a mission, would you?_

_Londyn: This isn't a mission *Drives off, silently going through her videos and deciding which ones to write about*_

* * *

Lightning drove back into the room, "Is there any way we could move everything out to the hangar?" he asked Finn, "Some of the planes are too big to fit in here."

"Oh, no…" Finn realized. That meant Siddeley would want to write letters, which could be worse than Londyn embarrassing him. "Well, there's not another option, is there?" he asked rhetorically, gathering some materials and balancing the laptop, shut, on his hood. It looked somewhat strange, but he was one to try and take everything in one trip.

"You're sure you can carry all of that?"

"Positive." Sure enough, he made it to the hangar relatively quickly, the planes Lightning had contacted waiting somewhat patiently. "Welcome," he said, keeping an eye on the laptop he had yet to put down, "Have you been briefed on what this mission is about?"

"Nope," Dusty replied, speaking for the group.

"Very well," he continued, "There's a website we have discovered called FanFiction, where authors use characters, some of them being us, to write their own stories. Unfortunately, there are some odd trends on this site, and we're publishing a story to tell them what we think about them. The other cars should be here soon, as well."

"What do you mean, 'odd trends'?" Skipper asked.

"They have these things called 'ships'," Finn replied, "They're couples they think are meant to be… needless to say, some of them are very odd… I could go so far as to say that some are just disturbing."

A dark blue Pacer helped guide a group of cars into the hangar, but she had overheard. Checking to make sure all of the criminals were accounted for, at least, she joined the group for a second. "How disturbing?" she asked.

"Well, two of them put you with Axlerod," he chuckled, "And you aren't even in the movie, I don't think."

She glanced at the green Range Rover. "Yes, he is a lemon. Yes, I am a lemon. No, that probably won't happen… ever."

"Exactly my point. Oh, and," he pulled her aside to tell her something, "The rehabilitation program is being resumed, just thought I'd let you know."

"For who?"

"Make a guess."

"Oh, no…" she glanced at Miles again before leaving the hangar, partly to recollect herself and partly to make sure everyone was at the new location they needed to be.

**A/N: Okay, there they are! More letters should follow soon, depending on the time I have.**


	16. Dusty x Ishani

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm actually alright with that pairing…

-Dusty

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Aww… that is actually somewhat… cute, I suppose I could put it. I give my approval, even if we don't end up together.

-Ishani

* * *

_Dusty: That wasn't so bad…_

_Finn: You've got plenty of pairings… you haven't even seen them all yet._


	17. Dusty x Dipper

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Please don't ship this… I don't think it would work.

-Dusty

...

Dear FanFiction Writers,

THAT'S A SHIP?! OH MY GOSH! Me… and Dusty? That would be the best thing EVER! I LOVE THIS WEBSITE! :D.

Thank you so much!1!1!1!111 :) :D

-Lil' Dipper

* * *

_Dusty *Whispering*: So that's what you meant…_

_Finn: There are worse pairings..._

_Dipper: Well, if the fans think it's a good ship…_

_Dusty: Please stop._


	18. Dusty x Skipper

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm not in a relationship with ANYONE right now… I'm going to say no. Never.

-Dusty

**...**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm assuming you aren't even sane… or at least a lot of you aren't. Not even sure what these letters are for… just stop while I'm being nice.

-Skipper

* * *

_Dusty: Why?!_

_Finn: I hate to be the one to say I told you so…_

_Skipper: Yes, he told you so… and apparently me, too._

_Dusty: I hope there aren't any more like that…_

_Finn: My apologies… _


	19. Ishani x Ripslinger

**A/N: 50 reviews already? I'm so happy right now... I want to say thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far :). Anyways, this story isn't going to be updated as much over the next couple days, as I want to write a oneshot on Industrial Revolution II.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

There is NO WAY I would ever go out with, much less marry that traitor.

-Ripslinger

* * *

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm sure the tractors would be more accepting of this than I am. Stop it.

-Ishani


	20. MythBusters

To Whom It May Concern:

This show is… I don't even know how to describe it. Writing for the other vehicles in the room, we've come to an agreement that this show is sick, and the hosts are even more so. The unfortunate cars that have spent their last moments in the clutches of these morally-deprived humans were treated unspeakably. My personal condolences to the families of the fallen.

-Finn McMissile, writing on behalf of everyone involved in this program.

**A/N: Has anyone noticed that the MythBusters tend to destroy a lot of cars? Anyways… sorry about the longer hiatus… I've been roleplaying a lot more recently, and I've had writer's block for AAP.**


	21. Finn the Muppet

**A/N: Did anyone know that Michael Caine was in A Christmas Carol? I didn't... and then I found out that he sang... I had to show Finn XD. Also, Londyn's not mine; she belongs to RushandStreak, and I just tend to borrow her a lot.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I am not a muppet, I am an Aston Martin. Never in your life will you hear me sing.

-Finn McMissile

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I've indeed heard him sing. In the car wash, every single day. I must say, he'd have a good second career if he could ever get over his stage fright.

-Londyn

**A/N: I've got at least 2 more I want to write today, but I may or may not get them up.**


	22. Spitfires Fighting Daleks?

**A/N: If any of you watch Doctor Who, you'll know about the Spitfires fighting the Daleks. I got a request for this from RushandStreak, and Morningfire's not mine.**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Blimey, Spitfires in space? I wouldn't know how... *Gasps as two of them are shot down* THIS is entertainment? This is slaughter for enjoyment. It's sickening.

-Morningfire


	23. Look at me, I'm a starfish!

**A/N: Just a note about this one… My friend and I concluded that Miles is a turtle from how he handles in the Cars 2 video game, and on top of that he's a koala because Eddie Izzard voiced Nigel in The Wild, and that koala also says that he's a starfish after falling off of a boat… :P**

Dear FanFiction Writers,

I am a Range Rover, and I have always been a Range Rover. I am not a turtle, koala or a starfish… where did you come up with that last one? I have no idea, but I'm not really one for animals, with the exception of the occasional owl.

-Miles Axlerod


	24. Dusty x Blade

**A/N: I may not post as many as I was when I first started this story... but this was too weird of a pairing to NOT mention. Also... this is my first time writing for Blade... I may or may not have gotten his character right, but I tried.**

DustyxBlade

Dear FanFiction Writers,

Uh... I don't have a comment for that... that's almost worse than putting me with Dipper.

-Dusty

FanFiction Writers-

Frankly, I would rather go on the Wall.

-Blade


End file.
